I Disapprove of: BAR SKANKS

step one: cover entire body including face in stripey fake tanner thats waaaaaaay to dark for you.
step two: put on the cheapest, glittery, silky low cut and way too short dress on... because all of us totally want to see your cellulite and the bottom half of your ass.
step three: put on shoes you dont know how to walk in.
step five: use magic marker as eyeliner and apply way to much bronzer.
step six: meet up with your fellow bar bitch.
step seven: have greasy men buy you way too many martinis, cosmos, etc.
step eight: (and this is the best one) may include but is not limited to: start fights with your friends, as well as people you don't know and have never spoken to, vomit in the lap of your greasy drink provider, suck a dick in a public bathroom stall, expose yourself in public, yell about how hot you are and then start crying about how fat and ugly you are, dance like your in a club when your in a pub, dance like you know what your doing even though you can barely stand up, slap a bitch, pass out and wake up in a strangers bed with a used condom stuck to your thigh... hopefully, if not, enjoy herpes.

and this ladies and gentlemen, is why I disapprove.

I Disapprove of: CLOWNS

Once while visiting Mexico and friend and I were shopping around the Tuesday market and were suddenly assaulted by a clown with a blow up, squeaky baseball bat... literally, he kept hitting us with it and laughing. My friend, being scared shitless of these little fuckers freaked out, jumping on my back, knocking us into a booth full of clown figurines.... THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
therefore, clowns? I disapprove.
p.s. The picture is of John Wayne Gacy.

I Disapprove of: BIG OIL

BP should use the oil they've gushed into our oceans as an anal lubricant so we can do to them what they've done to our planet... other big oil companies should suffer for doing absolutely nothing to help the spill, only to see BP suffer financially. FUCK.

I Disapprove of: THE iPAD

I'm not paying $800 for a big iPhone. Therefore, I disapprove.

I Disapprove of: HAREM PANTS

Also known as hammer pants, a throw back to MC Hammer and how truly crappy 90's hip hop fashion was, but I rather not get bitter about the 90's, since that was my childhood.
instead, here are a few reasons why I hate hammer/harem pants:

1. you look like you've shit yourself. If you ask me looking like you've got a load in your pants isn't a very good fashion statement.

2. they don't look like they could be in anyway comfortable.

3. if I were to put a pair of these on it would be really hard to motivate myself to put on a pair of heals and a blouse instead of a dirty t-shirt and some slippers.

4. they just dont look good at all... ever.

so please, save yourself $90 and skip the poopy pants.

why?

I started this blog because I've discovered that I'm only inspired to blog when I'm annoyed or bitchy. So, here we go.
Why listen to me? No reason, but I hope you get something out of this.