I Disapprove of: ED HARDY

Since the new season of MTV's The Jersey Shore has started I figured another guido related disapproval was in order.
this time I'm targeting Don ED Hardy clothing, jewelry, fragrance, sunglasses, hats, shoes... everything?
first of all, thank you Christian Audigier for taking the name and flash design of a well known, tallented old school/ traditional tattoo artist and tarnishing it beyond belief by foiling it onto a
stupid muscle shirt. I'm sure that the tattoo community, especially those who don't specialize in fake tribal design, really appreciate what you've done for the industry(sarcasm).

second of all, thank you Adam Saaks, as if the clothing wasn't already trashy enough you took it to a whole new level but cutting it up to look as though the sluts wearing this shit just escaped some kind of bar skank turf war, weapon of choice being fake nails of course.

I really can't wrap my mind around people that wear this shit and expect to be taken seriously, especially the men. If I see a woman walking around with a pink, foiled, studded, cut up ed hardy
piece of bullshit on I just figure she's been blowing dogs for quarters... but when I see a beefcake/juice head dude wearing the same thing.... I can't decide if he is into men or women or if he's blind and his younger sister decided to play a cruel joke on him, then I realize he's eyebrows are waxed, he's hair is blown out and that he has a MANicure. at that point I just tell him to say hello to his mutha for me, in a Mark Walberg accent.

I Disapprove of: WAITING IN LINE

Not too long ago a friend turned to me and said "I think that I shouldn't have to wait in line, there should be a VIP entrance for me and my friends only". As selfish as it sounds... I agree. For the safety of the rest of the people in line, I should be moved ahead. I hate waiting in lines so much I get an overwhelming urge to just rip off the heads of the people in front of me. Scalp some bitches. I don't what it is, or if its normal or at all healthy but its how I get. I can't go to amusement parks, zoos, food stands, the DMV, clubs, anything that requires me to stand behind someone else and stare at the back of their head. It makes me ape shit-crazy. Even thinking about it is pissing me off.
Please don't ever stand in front of me, unless you want a stiletto in your ass.

I Disapprove of: CLOTHES THAT DONT FIT

This is directed at men,
stop wearing clothes that are too big for you. your not a rapper(recently rappers have also been wearing pants that fit, take a hint)... it doesn't look good at all, it just looks like you only have one outfit and you've smoked too much crack for your own good.
buy a belt.
buy pants that fit.
stop wearing t-shirts that cover your ass, that's your pants job... not that your pants are doing their job anyway,
no one thinks it looks good... no one.

I Disapprove of: ANIME CONVENTION PEOPLE

are you between the ages of 20 and 45 and still a virgin?
are you into Japanese animation (anime)?
do you go to the conventions and dress up like your favorite anime character?
do you roll play even though your way to old to be playing dress up?
do you spend copious amounts of money traveling to conventions and on your convention costume?
yes?
please, just drop dead.
Not only is it really fucking pathetic that your life sucks so much that you have to escape to a ridiculous un-reality, but the fact that out of everything you could have escaped into (heroin, child porn, foot fetishes) you had to choose the crappiest, lamest, nonsensical world of anime...
I hate you.

I Disapprove of: CHICKENS

I once volunteered at a farm where one of my jobs was to collect chicken eggs. It was one of the weirdest things I had ever seen. I was collecting eggs from the upstairs chicken coop, where they keep the ugly chickens with no feathers so the visitors don't see them, and I noticed one had died in the corner. Then, as I gazed at this dead bird, another chicken crawls on top of it, bows its head, as if it was mourning the loss of its chicken lover and laid an egg directly on top of the dead chicken. I never collected or touched that eggs, I felt like would have been some weird karma/voodoo shit and with the bad luck I already have, I don't really need any kind of chicken curse.
So yeah, I disapprove of chickens... and most poultry, for no real reason, they just freak me out.

I Disapprove of: DUCKFACE

This is sort of a follow up on the bar skanks post.
Anyway, all I have to say is, this face doesn't make you look cute... it makes your face look like a giant asshole... knock it off.
I'm sorry your lips are thin, your cheek bones are undefined and your skin is starting to sag from UV ray abuse. Although duckface seems to help some of these skank-ass symptoms... it makes you look like more of a hag than you already were.