step one: cover entire body including face in stripey fake tanner thats waaaaaaay to dark for you.
step two: put on the cheapest, glittery, silky low cut and way too short dress on... because all of us totally want to see your cellulite and the bottom half of your ass.
step three: put on shoes you dont know how to walk in.
step five: use magic marker as eyeliner and apply way to much bronzer.
step six: meet up with your fellow bar bitch.
step seven: have greasy men buy you way too many martinis, cosmos, etc.
step eight: (and this is the best one) may include but is not limited to: start fights with your friends, as well as people you don't know and have never spoken to, vomit in the lap of your greasy drink provider, suck a dick in a public bathroom stall, expose yourself in public, yell about how hot you are and then start crying about how fat and ugly you are, dance like your in a club when your in a pub, dance like you know what your doing even though you can barely stand up, slap a bitch, pass out and wake up in a strangers bed with a used condom stuck to your thigh... hopefully, if not, enjoy herpes.
and this ladies and gentlemen, is why I disapprove.
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